Read this.. if you are going through a low point in exchange

1/11/22

So, I'm reaching my 5th month of exchange in the Netherlands (two more days to be exact), and as expected, I've had my fair share of bad days. There have been times when I've been riding on my bike and then I remember that I'm in Europe and, all of a sudden, I'm crying. Or when I've gone out with some new friends, had a hard time clicking, and start missing familiar friends from back home. Or small things I never thought I'd miss like having Korean and Vietnamese food almost every week, night drives in my car, and grocery shopping at Costco or Trader Joe's. There are days, weeks even, that are hard. It's difficult to explain why you feel the way you feel or how you suddenly feel sad or tired or homesick, but I do know that almost all exchange students have to face these hard days eventually. Know that you are not alone, and your feelings are valid.

This is the culture shock cycle graph that Houston Rotary gave the exchange students before we left. It is a little scary how accurate this chart has aligned with my feelings during exchange thus far. A few months ago, in November, was the hardest part of my exchange. The sun rose a little before 9 am and set a little past 4 pm. It felt impossible to get up in the mornings because of how dark and cold it was. I had a hard time physically getting out of my bed and biking to school everyday. At school, I felt like being there was pointless because my grades didn't matter and I didn't understand what the teacher was saying. After school, it would be dark, and it felt like the day was over. It felt like I was living each day on repeat. I found myself missing home and thinking how much easier it would be if I was in the States right now.

However, it is so important to remember that you feel your feelings at an extreme level on exchange. Your emotions are heightened- I mean, you're alone in a foreign country. These intense feelings of sadness, loneliness, and homesickness will pass. You will have these great highs and great lows. It is important to go easy on yourself. Give yourself time. Let yourself feel your feelings, and then move on.

I'm still not nearly finished with exchange, but I have some advice on how to overcome the hard bits of exchange.

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TYPED VERSION (REVISED/BETTER VERSION) BELOW PHOTOS

As someone who experiences those hard moments in exchange, who is currently enduring those low lows that us exchange students know are dark and scary and lonely at times, this is what I can say helps me.

1. Distract yourself. Fill up your schedule. Make plans. Do what you've been wanting to do, and if you don't know what that is, search for things that you want to do. My favorite weeks have been the ones that are packed with activities. Some ideas- visit a new city, try out a new café, go to a museum, watch a movie at the theatre, attend a concert. I scroll on TikTok for new restaurants, activities, and cities in the Netherlands to check out and save them to my GoogleMaps. It is fun to go out with others like your host family and friends, but solo trips are also fun. Don't be afraid to go out and explore on your own.

2. Sometimes going out is hard. Do things that you love to do, can be things that you did back at home. I love listening to music, watching tv and movies, crocheting, painting, and drawing. Some days, I need to just stay at home and do whatever I want. Grant yourself a day to recharge. Take care of yourself.

3. Reach out to your host family and your fellow exchange students when you feel off. People can't read your mind. Vulnerability will always help you. Tell your host parents when you are having a hard time; they will understand and be more mindful of you during this period. But, they can't help you if they don't know you need help. And talk to your exchange friends!! I cannot stress how much you need to lean on these people. What you're feeling, thinking, and going through, they are going through as well. There have been times when I've reached out hesitantly on the group chat, admitting that I've been having a tough day or week, and the other exchange kids know exactly what to say because they are going through the same thing. There are times when I've felt like they are reading my mind because of how deeply their feelings have resonated with my feelings on exchange. Be each other's support systems. You guys are all in this together. You don't have to and shouldn't go through the hard moments on your own. Be vocal about your feelings, you won't regret it.

4. This is the most important one. Take care of your body. Drink water, exercise, eat your fruits and veggies, and get enough sleep every night. Be good to your body. Healthy body --> Healthy mind --> Happy exchange student :)

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My advice. Hopefully one or two or maybe even all helped to hear. I want you to know that you are brave, you are strong, and you will defeat this sucky feeling. Exchange is magical, and you are doing a once-in-a-lifetime thing right now. Soak it in. YOLO. Get out of the low part and start riding the highs!

-Amelia