How I take on exchange- Wren L’Heureux

Wren is an exchange student in the Netherlands from Florida in the US.

Reality of exchange

My name is Wren L’Heureux, and I have thus far made it through 6 months in the Netherlands. My exchange year has been filled with happy and sad days, exciting and boring ones. At this point, I feel like I have been through it all. Before I left for my exchange, I felt like I heard a million times that I am an “ambassador,” and that I would be respected and admired. Yet, to be completely honest I feel the opposite. My every move Is observed and laughed at whether I understand or not. This had a hit on my confidence at the start of my exchange. I would think “why is everyone laughing at me for the way I get on a bike or waving to someone in the hallway.” Everyday things that I would never think about became my biggest insecurities. Especially when I did something that was already not my finest moment, it was even bigger and funnier to everyone else but me. For example, height is not something I have compared to the country with the world's tallest people. On one of my first few weeks, I fell off my bike since it was way too tall. Like completely fell and knocked down other bikes with me. I was petrified. Hearing people in Dutch say, “oh the American of course she can't ride a bike.” I was wishing at that moment to bury my head in the sand. Instead of helping me, I was laughed at. That was a tough day. But thinking back on it, the only way to make it through my exchange, where I would continue to make these

mistakes since I am human, was to laugh it off. The bike situation, although slightly scarring has become a joke between me and my friends. This is the true secret to exchange.

Accepting discomfort.

Every day of exchange is uncomfortable. Whether it is a meeting with Rotarians, hanging out with your host family’s entire extended family, or just school, I have not felt the comfort of my own family or home since I left. Of course, I have found the people that I feel comfortable and happy to be around from school or the other exchange students but since we are all from different countries and cultures, it can be hard to relate. At the beginning of my exchange, I would cringe every time I said something wrong in Dutch or do something too “American” for the dutchies. But how else am I supposed to learn? This is a new country with new everything, I am not just able to pick up the language and culture in one day. This was a quick discovery for me. That I will always be the American in a crowd of Dutch people. So, slowly with that realization, the feeling of being the odd one out becomes less and less. Discomfort although always there does not need to be so uncomfortable if you find the right attitude toward it.

Taking advantage of the position as a “foreigner”

I always wanted to be that exchange student that could say that I was so fully emersed that people could not tell I was not Dutch. Yeah, that is never going to happen. Too much of me has been built from my life back at home and there is no problem with that. Being a foreigner can have its perks, people taking you to see things, getting out of a sticky situation, you name it. Pulling the foreigner card has saved me on more than one occasion. As I said previously, making mistakes is human and an exchange student especially will make them. But allowing myself to make these mistakes and blame it on the fact

that I'm not from here has made my life so much easier. People expect us to be the way they see us on TV and when we aren't, it makes them uncomfortable. This Controle has been crucial for me to be able to laugh. I feel like this way I can share my culture while learning theirs. The perfect balance if you will

The golden rule

Comedians always say that the first rule of comedy is that you must be able to laugh at yourself. Now we are exchange students, not comedians. But you should live by this rule as well. Every day I make fun of myself in one way or another. The other day I was on the train, I stood up to get off and when the train stopped I started tripping over my feet. That’s not that bad, what was bad was the fact that I said whoopsie daisy out loud and proceeded to bump into people. Who the hell says whoopsie daisy? My friend was with me on the train for saying such a thing and she burst into laughter. Instead of being upset or embarrassed, I joked about the fact that I just used a saying that grandmas use. It made me happy about my little tumble. This is only one of my many many examples.

All this is to say that with all the good and bad of exchange, the best way to make it through is to laugh and don’t care too much. This may sound easier than done but once you realize that you can't change to fit others' standards, accept the foreigner title. Exchange life becomes a little more simple. This is how I've gotten through my exchange.

“The other golden rule”

keep your business out of rotary ears. It will be better in the long run. Many exchange students can attest to that.